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Zeek and Ye Shall Find/Transcript
Intro "Last time," Chris said, "on Total Drama All-Stars, the teams were no more, and it was a free-for-all race to build floating machines for a regatta de boat around Wawanakwa, but some floated better than others for obvious reasons – and Chef supplied some dynamite entertainment! Lindsay somehow won the challenge and stuck it to Jo by giving her immunity to Zoey. Alejandro found evidence of Mike’s wrongdoings, but when he tried to play hero, Mike proved every hero had a little villain in him. Adios, Ale-jerk-o! Seven players move on, soon, one more will be gone. Who will it be? Stick around and see! Here on Total ... Drama ... All-Stars!" Opening sequence (Cameras extend from parts around Camp Wawanakwa.) Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine. You guys are on my mind. (Camera rapidly moves past Chris, in a helicopter, and up a hundred foot cliff. The camera jumps off the cliff and enters the ocean where Scott is being chased by Fang.) You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer's plain to see. (Fang jumps out of the water, showing Courtney on a raft paddling toward him.) I wanna be famous. I wanna live close to the sun. So pack your bags 'cause I've already won. (The camera zooms in on a totem pole where Duncan is carving a skull that resembles a bunny as Zoey stares at him, causing him to stop and snap his knife. The camera zooms back where Zoey turns to see Mal with a rope, preparing to drop a boulder on Cameron. He quickly turns back to Zoey as Mike and grins.) Everything to prove, nothing in my way. I'll get there one day. 'Cause I want to be famous. (The camera moves to the Mess Hall where Alejandro and Heather are wrestling each other for the McLean Brand Chris Head. Heather knocks Alejandro down and the Chris Head falls into her hands. She laughs while Alejandro scowls at her.) Naaaa-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-na-naaaa! (The camera pans back to reveal the dock where Lightning is staring at his reflection in the water. In the water, Courtney is still chasing Fang, but the raft crashes into Duncan and Gwen’s boat and the latter smiles apologetically as Courtney sinks.) I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (Further in the water, Lindsay is jet-skiing and blowing kisses and Jo, also jet-skiing, shoves her aside when they crash into each other. The camera pans to Boney Island where mutants are chasing Sam and he is mauled by one, sending pieces of his clothes into the air until the day becomes the night.) Whistling. (At the campfire, Scott, bruised, and Courtney lean in to kiss, but Sierra snaps a picture of them on her phone and they flinch back. Camera pans back as the campers, separated with the Heroes on the right and the Villains on the left.) Act I Mal sighed in relief as he sat in the hot tub outside the McLean Bran Spa Hotel. A butler stood nearby, holding a drink for him. "Oh yes, now this is the life. The life we deserve. Isn't that right, Mike?" He snickered. "You'll have all this and more once I finish with the competition. Only a pesky thorn remains on our side and like all thorns, it must be removed." "Mike?" Zoey asked from inside the Spa Hotel. "Are you out there?" Mal cleared his throat. “In the hot tub – uh – sweetie,” he said in Mike’s voice. Zoey walked out of the spa hotel. She raised an eyebrow. “Mike? What are you doing?” “What does it look like? Just enjoying the hot tub.” Mal laughed nervously. “I know, but your shirt’s off,” Zoey said. “Aren’t you worried about Vito?” “You’re so sweet to worry about me,” Mal said, “but I’ve got Vito under control.” “But you said –” “I know what I said, Zoey!” Mal said, slamming his hand on the water. He chuckled nervously. “I mean, uh, that was in the past. I’m in control now.” Zoey’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, I guess. Mike, I wanted to talk to you.” Mal rolled his eyes and sipped from his drink. “About?” “About everything that Cameron and Duncan told me and what you haven’t. They said you used to be in juvie and you have this evil personality called Mal. Izzy and Alejandro kept calling you that. Duncan even thinks you’re the personality and Mal is the real you. Is that true?” Mal sighed. He forced a smile. “Zoey, are you saying you trust them more than me? Izzy’s crazy and Duncan and Alejandro are villains, remember? They were just trying to break us apart. It’s the same reason the Vultures tried to get rid of Duncan early in the game. Together, we’re a threat. But, if you start letting them get inside your head and trusting them over your own boyfriend, there might not be a future for us.” “I hadn’t thought about it like that. What about Cameron?” Zoey asked. “Cameron was jumpy from being on the Villains team,” Mal said. “Everything he saw was evil to him.” “I guess that makes sense,” Zoey said, putting a finger on her chin. "Zoey, would I ever lie to you?" Mal asked. "No?" Zoey said. “Great! Now that we’ve got out of the way, could I go back to enjoying this nice hot tub?” Mal asked and leaned back. “Mike, Lindsay gave me her immunity so that we could talk –” Mal closed his eyes and crossed his arms behind his head. “Thank her for me, will ya?” "It's not like Mike to avoid talking to me,” Zoey said. “Well, I mean he does avoid talking to me when he’s holding secrets but he becomes all nervous and flustered. He’s never ended a conversation on me before. Not like this.” She clutched the necklace. "It feels like I don't know him anymore." The next day, Courtney and Gwen readied themselves inside the cabin. “So, Gwen,” Courtney said as she brushed her hair, “what do you think of Scott?” Gwen gagged. “I don’t really have an opinion on him, Courtney. I mean, we were on the same team and all, but he mostly hung out with Duncan.” “Gwen, I want you two to get along. He really likes me,” Courtney said. “So, does that mean you’re interested in Scott?” Gwen asked. “I don’t know,” Courtney said. “He’s so different from Du-uh-you-know-who. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I think I’m finally moving on.” “And I’m happy for you, really, I am. You deserve some happiness, but Scott probably doesn’t like me after I used him as shark bait yesterday.” “He’s gonna have to get over that. It was either that or getting thrown in that disgusting toilet bowl,” Courtney said. “Promise me you’ll at least try.” Gwen sighed. “Fine.” “Great!” Courtney said. “Wanna come with to the mess hall?” She started to snicker. “What’s so funny?” Gwen asked. “I just remembered how I accidentally threw food at you the first time we were here,” Courtney said. “Oh, yeah, and then I got back at you by hitting you with a dodgeball,” Gwen said. Courtney and Gwen stopped chuckling and stared at one another. “So, uh, mess hall?” Gwen laughed nervously and pointed at the door. “After you,” Courtney grinned, opening the door. Inside the Mess Hall, Lindsay and Jo sat on separate sides of the table. Jo glared at Lindsay as she stabbed her patty with a fork. “Unbelievable!” Jo said. “Lindsiot won the challenge and gave up immunity! For what? So that Multiple Mike and Apology Brat can talk out their petty relationship problems? She’s lucky I don’t throw her into the toilet bowl myself. But, now that Ale-handwalker is gone, I don’t have anyone to manipulate.” Lindsay turned to Jo. “Are you still mad about that whole giving up immunity thing?” Jo growled and threw a saltshaker at her. Lindsay yelped as it flew over her. She smiled. “Thanks for passing the salt, Jo.” Jo’s eyes narrowed. “Who knew it was this easy to get what you wanted?” Lindsay asked. “I don’t get why Heather forced people to do her bidding. This way is more fun – and nicer too.” “Challenge time,” Chris said over the loudspeakers. “Proceed to the Spa Hotel library pronto!” Scott groaned as he walked out of the boys’ side of the loser cabin. “Only guy in there and I still can’t get any rest.” He tripped over the stairs and crashed onto the ground. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” Courtney cleared her throat as she and Gwen watched from the outside of the girls’ cabin. Scott chuckled. “Uh, I was just making sure I don’t stink a-a-and I don’t, seriously.” “Uh … let’s pretend we showed up now,” Courtney said. “I’m gonna pretend I never saw that,” Gwen said. “Cool,” Scott said. Courtney started walking down the stairs. “Oh wait!” Courtney yelped as she tripped over the stairs and collapsed onto Scott. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” She rose and brushed dirt off of her shirt. Scott stood. He untied his shoelace and formed it into a ring. “Uh, will you be my boyfriend? Uh, no! Uh, my boyfriend! Urgh! Me yours. Me boy! Just … will you go out with me?” Courtney glanced at Gwen as she stood in shock. Scott smiled sheepishly. “Yes.” Courtney grabbed the ring. “My first ring! I’ll keep it in my pocket. No way his shoelace goes on my finger. Boys pee outside – in the dark!” “So, uh I’ll see you at the library then?” Scott chuckled. “I have to find a new shoelace.” He ran back into the boys’ side of the cabin. “What just happened?” Gwen asked. “I thought you didn’t know if you liked him.” “I don’t know. It was just the heat of the moment,” Courtney said. “He offered me a ring and we kissed last night –” “Whoa, whoa, you two kissed?” Gwen asked. “Was this another heat of the moment thing?” She waved her hands and rolled her eyes. “Gwen, I was going to tell you, but I wanted to sort out my feelings first,” Courtney said. “If it wasn’t a big deal, why make it one?” Gwen groaned. “Let’s just get to the library.” “You go on ahead, I’m gonna wait for Scott,” Courtney said, staring dreamily at her ring. Gwen’s eyes narrowed. “Whatever.” She groaned. “So much for putting friend-ish allies first!” Zoey sighed as she stood next to Lindsay. “Hi Zoey,” Lindsay said. “Did you and Mike talk things out?” “You could say that,” Zoey said. “He said Izzy was crazy, Duncan and Alejandro were just trying to separate us, and Cameron was too jumpy from being on the Villains team.” “Wow, that makes sense – even to me,” Lindsay said. “None of that makes sense to you, Lamebrain,” Jo said. “Admit it!” “You know, Jo,” Lindsay said. “I’d worry more about yourself. It’s only you against Courtney, Scott and Gwen and Zoey, Mike and me.” “You think I don’t know that?!” Jo growled. “We shouldn’t be fighting,” Zoey said. “She started it!” Jo yelled, pointing at Lindsay. Gwen, Mal, Courtney and Scott entered the Spa Hotel library. “Where were you?” Zoey asked. “Just tying up some loose ends.” Mal laughed nervously. “Where’s Chris?” Courtney asked. “Just hush up!” Chef Hatchet said. “You’ll see in a minute.” On camera, Chris walked into the Mess Hall as interns wheeled in a table consisting of food, drink and a cake with 100 in candles. “Welcome to episode 100 of Total Drama!” Chris announced. He put a party hat on. “To celebrate, I have an extra special 100th episode challenge. I hope no one is allergic to rhinoceroses … or fire … or poison, small pox, gluten …” “I’m allergic to gluten!” Lindsay said. A figure emerged from underneath the table. “What is that?” Gwen asked. “Urea-formaldehyde, terror, tree nuts …” Chris continued. “Look out!” Gwen, Zoey and Courtney shouted. Ezekiel emerged from the table and wrapped a bag over Chris. He hissed and jumped through the window, carrying Chris with him. Chef spit out his coffee. The beverage splashed onto the security system, disabling the cameras. “I … that can’t … aggghhh! New challenge! Find Chris!” “You want us to hunt for Zeek?” Gwen asked. “No way! He’s psycho crazy!” “Hey! If no one saves Chris, there ain’t no show!” Chef said. “Which means no winner and no million dollars!” “What?!” Jo growled. “That’s not fair!” Courtney shouted. “Hold on, everyone.” Mal grinned. “What if we accept this challenge but only if the one who finds Chris gets immunity for the next vote?” “And permanent residence in the Spa Hotel for as long as they’re in the competition!” Courtney said. “And they get to send one person to Boney Island,” Jo glared at Lindsay. “We haven’t done exile duty since Heather got voted off,” Lindsay said. “Well, maybe Chris should reinstate it for certain people,” Jo said. “Fine! Deal! Just find Chris!” Chef shouted. “Last season, Zeek was living in the mines.” Zoey said. “Maybe that’s where he took Chris?” “To the mine!” Chef said. Chef led the contestants outside the mine. “Huh. Looks like it’s still sealed up,” Mal said. “Maybe there’s another way in,” Zoey said. Chef tossed flashlights at the contestants. “Then find it! I’m heading back to the hotel to see if I can get the monitors working.” Chef ran off. Gwen turned to Courtney and Scott. “Let’s do this!” “Um, yeah, sorry, but it’s our one-hour anniversary and three’s a crowd.” Scott wrapped his hand around Courtney. “Besides, you might try to feed someone to a shark! Bye!” Courtney giggled. “Sorry!” Gwen sighed. She spotted Jo. “Jo?” Jo glared at her. “As if, New Heather.” She walked off. “You can come with us, Greta,” Lindsay smiled as she, Zoey and Mal walked past her. “Really?” Gwen asked. “Nice, thanks.” “Why’d you invite Gwen along?” Zoey whispered to Lindsay. “Three Heroes, three villains, one Jo,” Lindsay said. “If Gwen joins our friendship finale, there’ll be five of us!” “Uh, there’ll only be four,” Zoey said. “Oh, right, I forget to count four sometimes, thanks Zoey,” Lindsay said. Scott and Courtney approached a cavern in the mountainside. “Look,” Courtney said. “This must be where Zeek gets in and out.” “Ladies first,” Scott grinned. “Or is that wrong ‘cause this is dangerous? Or is that wrong ‘cause this is the 21st century? Or is it the 22nd?” Courtney frowned and walked into the cavern. “Uh … cool. I’ll make sure he doesn’t sneak up on us from behind!” Scott said. “I have no idea how to be a boyfriend. The only advice my dad ever gave me about dating was, if you’re ever in Holland, go Dutch. Oh …,” he laughed. “I get it now.” Mal shined a flashlight through one of the holes. “I bet this leads down to the mine.” “There’s another hole over here.” Lindsay pointed to a hole. “And there!” “Oh, no no no. I can’t down a hole!” Gwen gasped. “I’ve got a phobia about being buried alive! No way I can -” Mal grinned and stuck out his foot. Gwen screamed as she tripped and fell into a hole. “Gwen!” Zoey jumped into the hole. “Ohmigosh!” Lindsay stood over the hole. “Mike, what are we going to do?” Mal rolled his eyes. “Maybe we should go after them. Here, after you!” He pushed Lindsay into the hole and whistled “In the Hall of the Mountain King” as he walked from the mines. “Heh-heh-heh, perfect.” Jo popped her head up from behind a rock. “Where’s he’s going? No matter. One less loser to deal with.” She smiled and walked up to an opening in the mountain. “Yes! Looks like it’s better to go at it alone. There’s no one to hold me back any more. Just me and victory!” Chris laughed as he hung upside down over a vat of radiation. “Hardy-har-har Chef. Yeah, you got me. Sooner than I expected, but it worked.” He spotted Ezekiel laughing. “Ezekiel? I would have gone for a better costume, but whatever floats your boat. Now, get me out of these ropes. I wanna watch the campers pee their pants.” Ezekiel shook his head. His drool boiled acidly. “Yeah, quite the killer drool ya got there,” Chris said. “That’s toxic waste exposure for you though, am I right? Um … what’s up? Shouldn’t you be going after the campers?” Ezekiel grunted. “I’m not very well versed in freaky-a-zoidal interpretative dance, but I’ll take that as a yes,” Chris said. Lindsay stood up, groaning. She shone her flashlight in the mine. “Zoey? Gwen? Hello! Is anyone there?” She flashed the light on a blind gopher. “Oh, hello.” The gopher roared. Lindsay screamed and ran off. In another part of the mine, Gwen panted as her flashlight flickered on and off. “Come on, work! Ugh! Okay, you can do this,” she hyperventilated, “don’t panic.” The flashlight turned on, but turned off again. Gwen screamed. Inside the library, Gwen’s scream pierced through the speakers. “We got sound!” Chef announced as an intern tried to fix the monitors. “Now where’s the dang picture?” The intern pointed at the camera. “Oh, you want an update? I got no idea what Zeek is up to, where Chris is, or where the kids are at! And I got no idea how we’re gonna find any of that out with the monitors on the fritz!” The intern cleared his throat. “On Total … Drama … All-” “Fix the monitor!” Chef shouted. Act II Gwen walked through the mine. Her eyes darted back and forth. A flashlight turned on in front of her. Gwen screamed. Zoey blinked. “Zoey?!” Gwen rested her hand on her shoulder. “There you are,” Zoey said. “You scared me half to death!” Gwen yelled. “Thank you so much!” She hugged Zoey. “Don’t ever do that again!” Gwen shouted. She knelt and grabbed Zoey’s shoulders. “You’re the best.” Zoey patted Gwen’s back. “I’m here, I’m here. Deep breath in – and exhale.” Gwen did as she was told. “Better?” Zoey asked. Gwen nodded. “Good,” Zoey said, “let’s keep moving.” She aimed the flashlight at a dark path and walked on. Mal walked up to the Spa Hotel. Chef yelled at the interns inside, demanding them to get the monitors working. He chuckled and mimicked his voice to sound like Chris. “Chef! Help! Ezekiel’s taking me to the Mess Hall!” “Chris?” Chef grabbed the spaghetti and meatball cannon. “All of you, follow me!” He turned to the intern who had tried to signal the break. “Not you!” Chef and two other interns ran off. Mal snickered as he walked up behind the intern with a crowbar in his hand. The blind gopher ran down a cave. Lindsay emerged from behind a rock. She clutched her flashlight in her hand. “Zoey? Gwen? Where did you guys go?” She looked at her surroundings. “North is nice, but east is least. West is best!” She walked the opposite way. Chris laughed as Ezekiel glared at him. “Where’s all this anger coming from? Was it season three, when I kicked you off the plane, made everyone hunt you down, and you fell into a volcano, huh? Was it last year, when I sealed you inside a mine filled with toxic waste? Oh! Was it this season, when I flew you back in just to boot you out again?” Ezekiel howled. “Nah, you wouldn’t let a thing like worldwide televised humiliation come between us, would ya?” Ezekiel held up a box of rats. “Cute pets,” Chris said. Tap. Tap. Tap. Gwen turned around nervously as Zoey pressed on. “Did you hear that?” Gwen asked. “I thought I heard something.” “We’re fine, Gwen, just keep breathing. Everything will be okay.” Zoey said. Gwen exhaled. “How can you stay so calm at a time like this?” “I’ve done this before,” Zoey said, “and I remember you in Total Drama Island. You’ve done this before too! You were buried alive in the sand, facing your fear for your team. We’ve never really gotten a chance to talk, Gwen, but can I just say? You were my role model. I rooted for you in the finale. The way you could be who you were without letting anyone get to you – even Heather – inspired me to do the same. If you could make it then, you can make it now.” “Wow,” Gwen said. “That means a lot, Zoey.” She sat in the confessional. “All this time I’ve been afraid of becoming a villain, of going down this dark path. That’s not who I am. I can do this!” Tap. Tap. “Did you hear that? Did you hear me hearing that?” She turned. “What am I saying? You’re right. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Zoey screamed. Gwen turned and screamed at the flashlight in front of her. She curled up and flinched on the toilet, gasping. “Chris!” Chef and the interns entered the Mess Hall. A horde of mutants roared and attacked. Mal tossed the damaged crowbar aside. “Now, then, where would Chris be hiding the million dollars?” He typed on the keyboard and pulled up an image of Chris walking into the Spa Hotel with the suitcase. “All this time’s it’s been here! Under my nose!” He slammed his fists onto the keyboard, breaking it. “Good one, Chris, but not good enough.” Scott and Courtney held hands as they navigated through the mine. “I like your eyes,” Scott said, “both of them, on your face. They look good.” Courtney glanced around uncertainly. “Oh, heh, thanks. I like yours too.” Scott raised his flashlight, aiming the beam at Courtney’s eyes. “Both of them?” Courtney winced. “Okay, sure.” She swatted Scott’s arm. “Can you stop burning my retinas now? I can’t see anything-aah!” Courtney screamed as she fell off a slope. “Courtney!” Scott leaped after her. “I’m your girlfriend!” Jo whistled as she waved the flashlight around. “How hard is it to find a stupid Zeke?” Courtney and Scott screamed as they landed on her. “What the – Get off!” “Oh, thank god, another person to talk to!” Courtney said. She glanced at Scott. “Uh, I mean, look Scott, it’s our old teammate. Maybe we should work together.” “Didn’t we agree that three’s a crowd?” Scott asked, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. ”I only meant –” Courtney started. “Forget it,” Jo said, “only one of us can win immunity and that person is going to be me.” She ran off down the path. “No, wait, don’t leave me alone with him,” Courtney said, reaching out as Jo ran off. “So, what? You just don’t want to be with me anymore?” Scott asked. “I – what – are you -?” Courtney stammered. “You’re so –” “Just listen –” “I can’t believe I ever liked the eyes inside your face,” Scott said. “So now you don’t?!” Courtney placed her hands on her hips. “No! I don’t think I –” Courtney and Scott turned to see Ezekiel roar at them. Mal rummaged through the Spa Hotel, throwing everything as he searched for the case. “Where is it? Where is it?! He better keep the others busy if they know what’s good for them.” He looked at the monitors. One screen showed Chef and the interns surrounded by the mutants in the Mess Hall. Mal snickered. “I’m sure they’re entertained. All according to plan.” The mutants roared. Chef shoved ice cream in his mouth. An intern looked at him. “What? I eat when I’m stressed. What do you see on the PDA? Zoom in on the rope holding Chris.” He gasped and looked down at his tub of ice cream. “We’re going to need more ice cream.” The two-headed rat stepped near the ice cream and roared. Lindsay held up a flashlight. “Hello? Zoey? Anyone?” Courtney and Scott’s screams echoed throughout the cavern. Lindsay wailed and ran off in the opposite direction, slamming into Jo. “Ow! Why does this keep happening? How big is this mine anyway?” Jo asked. “Mo!” Lindsay said. “It’s so good to see a friendly face – even one like yours!” “Geez, thanks,” Jo said. “Wanna find the others? Maybe if we all save Chris, we can all stay in the Spa Hotel together. No one would have to go home tonight!” Lindsay said. “As if!” Jo said. “This is Total Drama! But, Airhead believes in the power of teamwork and who better to teach her the harsh truth than me? Time to start evening the odds.” Jo smiled. “You’re right. I just ran into uh Courtney and Scott. We should go back there and ask them to join our –” “Friendship finale!” Lindsay squealed. “Exactly!” Jo nodded. “Here, after you.” She pushed Lindsay forward and laughed. “Too easy.” Zoey walked up to Courtney and Scott. “Thank goodness you guys are okay.” Scott rubbed his head. “Know what’s not okay? That you wanted to break up with me right when we reached our two-hour anniversary! That’s just cold.” “I’m telling you, let me explain! There’s safety in numbers!” Courtney said, “but if you wanna play it lone wolf, I don’t want your dumb shoelace ring!” She threw the shoelace at Scott. “Good!” Scott yelled. “Cause having one loose sneaker was making me crazy!” Zoey huddled in a corner. “The sad thing is, this isn’t the worst part I’ve ever been to.” “Clearly I haven’t learned my lesson from the last time I was here!” Courtney crossed her arms. “Maybe next time I’ll think twice before jumping into a relationship with someone I met on this show!” She glanced uncertainly. “Even if he did risk his life for me… and likes the eyes on my face. Both of them.” She frowned. Lindsay and Jo came to stop. “I don’t see anyone, Jo. Are you sure this is where they were?” Lindsay looked around. Jo glanced at the ceiling and smirked. “Yep, I’m sure! Hey, look over there!” She pointed and pushed Lindsay to the floor before jumping behind a rock. Ezekiel jumped down in front of Lindsay and roared. Lindsay screamed and stepped back, falling down a hole. She screamed as she fell. Ezekiel growled and leapt after her. “Spa Hotel, here I come!” Jo dove after Lindsay and Ezekiel. Chef tapped his foot impatiently as the interns finished serving the mutants ice cream. The two-headed rat mother roared when her tub was empty. “Get her some more ice cream and start leading them back to Boney Island!” He picked up the meatball bazooka. “Total Drama will not end at episode 100!” He ran out of the Mess Hall. Gwen walked beside a river, staring at the cave around her frantically. “Forget Chris. Find a way out. Forget Chris. Find a way out.” Lindsay screamed as she fell into the river. “Lindsay?” Gwen asked, taking a step back. Lindsay emerged and gasped only for Ezekiel to dive into her, submerging both of them. Jo landed beside Gwen. “Out of the way, New Heather, this one’s mine!” She ran down the river. “Ezekiel? Jo?” Gwen raised an eyebrow. “Oh wait up!” She ran after Jo. “Is this supposed to be a party?” Lindsay asked as Ezekiel slammed her into the cage. She screamed when something brown hit her clothes. Courtney and Scott flinched as the brown slop splattered onto them. Zoey rocked back and forth, her hair sprinkled with the brown goo. “Please tell me this fudge.” Scott slurped some of the slop from his arm. “Yup, it’s fudge.” Courtney sighed. “Phew! Thank goodness.” Ezekiel threw more fudge at the bars as Courtney, Scott, Lindsay and Zoey screamed. “Ow!” Zoey said as fudge hit her head. “Oh, I hope Mike and Gwen are having better luck!” Mal seethed as he walked through the Spa Hotel. “No luck! Chris must have moved the money to a secure location, but where? Mike needs the money – for his protection!” Mike wheezed. “No, I don’t need you anymore. We have to find Zoey! She’s in danger!” Mal snickered. “Hush, Mike, shh. Soon it will all be over. When the money is mine – err yours – you will be safe. No one will harm you again. It’ll be the two of us. Just like the good old times. You won’t have to pretend to be friends with the others once I’m through with them.” Mike wheezed. “I won’t let you hurt them.” “As if you have a choice. Now, back to your prison – I mean – safekeeping.” Mal laughed. He rubbed his hands together. “Cheating wasn’t the answer, unfortunately – for them. I haven’t been this excited in a long time. Get ready, Total Drama, because here I come!” He punched the camera, breaking it. Jo crouched behind a rock. She snickered as she saw Lindsay, Zoey, Courtney, and Scott huddled at the back of the cage. “Jo, wait up!” Gwen said as she ran behind the rock. “Great, just what I needed,” Jo said, “you’re not stealing my victory, Pasty.” “Are you nuts?” Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow. “All I want is to get out of here!” She gasped. “Oh no, Ezekiel’s got the others trapped.” “And that’s their fault,” Jo said. She smirked. “But it’s also your chance to prove if you’re really a lame-o hero.” “What are you talking about?” Gwen asked. “Think about it,” Jo said. “If you save them and don’t win, then it proves that you’re doing it out of the goodness of your heart – y’know if you have one – rather than going straight for the gold. You’d be choosing friends over finale. A heroic sacrifice.” Gwen narrowed her eyes. “Whoa. What do you mean by sacrifice?” Jo rolled her eyes. “It was a figure of speech. Listen, I’ll cover you. I’ll distract Zeek and you open the cage. It’s what you said, right? Teamwork.” “I guess,” Gwen said. Jo winked. “When I give the signal, you make a run for the cage. We’ll save Chris and everyone will think you’re a hero!” Chris screamed as the rats continued biting through the rope. “Yo, little rodents, uh, let’s make a deal here. I know a cheese artisan … ack! Surely we can work something out.” The rope snapped, lowering Chris further toward the vat of toxic waste. Chris gasped. “Okay … getting scaredy. Heh heh. Help!” “Yo!” Jo walked up to the vat. “Freak show, you’re standing in the way of me and victory!” Ezekiel roared and brandished his fingers. “Jo?” Lindsay asked. “Gwen?” Zoey spotted Gwen by the cage. “What are you doing here?” “Oh, I knew I shouldn’t have ditched you for Scott!” Courtney exclaimed. Scott glared. “Where’s your backup? Couldn’t find any sharks in the mine?” “Cram it, both of you,” Gwen said as she picked the lock. “I have to concentrate.” “It’s so heroic of you to risk your life to save us,” Zoey said. Gwen frowned. “It was Jo’s idea.” “Jo?” Zoey and Scott looked at each other and then at JO. Jo grinned. “Look, Zeek, someone’s trying to break into your cage!” Ezekiel turned and screeched as he spotted Gwen. He ran toward her. Gwen gasped. “Jo, you tricked me!” Jo ran up to the vat, laughing. “See ya in the toilet, New Heather.” Gwen screamed as Ezekiel came near her. “I said help!” Chris screamed. Chef ran into the room, blocking Jo from the path. “Chris!” “Hey, out of the way!” Jo yelled. Ezekiel screeched to a halt and glared at Chris. He jumped toward the cook, but Chef ducked, dropping the meatball bazooka. Jo screamed as Ezekiel slammed into her, dropping the two onto the floor. Gwen picked the lock, and Lindsay, Scott, Courtney and Zoey ran out. Chef grabbed a stick and knocked the rats off the rope. “What took you so long?” Chris asked angrily. He sniffed. “And why do you smell like mint chocolate chip ice cream?” “I just saved your life,” Chef growled, “and it’s not my fault the mutants decided to trap us in the Mess Hall!” The bazooka cannon clicked. Ezekiel stood on his chair and fired it at Chef, smothering him in spaghetti and meatballs before he collapsed. Zoey, Courtney, Scott, Lindsay and Gwen gasped. “Zeek … Zeek … let’s talk about this,” Chris said. Ezekiel dropped the bazooka and leaped at the rope, starting to swing it. Jo stood up, picking up the meatball bazooka. “You can get your revenge after I get my million!” She grunted. “Hold still!” Ezekiel screeched and belched. Jo ducked. “Missed!” She stopped and heard rumbling from above. “Whoa!” She covered herself as the bazooka flew out of her hands and onto the floor. Gwen picked up the bazooka. “This is for hurting my friends!” Ezekiel screeched as the meatball plastered him against the wall. He snarled, trying to escape. Zoey, Lindsay, Courtney, and Scott cheered. Gwen untied the rope and threw Chris to the floor. “Ow!” Chris complained. “Coulda been a little more gentle!” Jo groaned as she emerged from the rocks. “What the - ? No!” “Come on, we gotta get outta here before Zeke …” Chris started. Gwen and Chris gasped as they spotted the spot that once held Ezekiel. “I don’t know who broke this camera, but the next camper who does is getting the flush! For the record, I would like to state that I, Chris McLean, am not afraid of that sad, misunderstood freakshow named Ezekiel. Sure, it looked like I was scared, but I was faking. I would say that that dramatic performance is worth at least five Gemmies.” Chris shivered when he heard snarls outside the confessional booth. Chris screamed and ran out of the confessional. “Help!” Mal snickered as he emerged from behind the outhouse. Act III "Gwen wins our never-to-be-repeated-or-spoken-of-again challenge!" Chris announced at the campfire ceremony. Jo, Lindsay, Mike, Zoey, Scott, Courtney and Gwen sat on the tree stumps. "She saved all of us," Chris continued, "but, more importantly, she saved me. So I'll honor the deal that Chef made – the Spa Hotel is yours, Gwen. Now, let's get to voting. A good old fashioned flush awaits one of you unlucky losers." "Like there's even a question of who to vote for," Jo said, "but she has immunity tonight so I'll guess I'll go with someone else." She crossed an X over someone's picture. Courtney, Gwen, Lindsay, Mike, Scott and Zoey crossed a picture. "The votes are in and the marshmallows go to Gwen ... Scott ... Courtney ... Zoey ... and Mike," Chris said. Jo smirked as Lindsay frowned uncertainly. "Ladies, this is the final marshmallow," Chris said, "The Flush of Shame goes to ... Jo!" He threw the marshmallow to Lindsay. “What?!” Jo stood up. “Are you all nuts?!” “You left us to be mutant food!” Courtney snapped. “Yeah that was really messed up,” Lindsay said. “I mean, who else would we have voted for?” “What about him?” Jo pointed to Mike. “He didn’t even go into the mines. Who knows what he was up to while we were all stuck down there?” “Mike?” Zoey asked. “Where were you?” “I swear I was in the mine,” Mal said, “I must have wandered around there blindly for who knows how long.” He grabbed Zoey’s hands. “But as long as you had my bracelet, I was with you, every step of the way.” “Right,” Zoey chuckled nervously and removed her hands. Chris snapped his fingers. Chef grabbed Jo, carrying her away. “Now, that that’s settled, Gwen, who’s heading to exile on Boney Island? I’m not sure why, but hey I don’t mind.” “Do I have to?” Gwen asked. “She’s already being flushed.” “I heard that!” Jo shouted. “Just pick someone so we can all get some sleep,” Chris said. “Oh, I don’t know – Scott,” Gwen said. "WHAT?!" Courtney and Scott shouted. Chris, Courtney, Gwen, Lindsay, Mike, Scott, and Zoey gathered at the dock. “Any last words?” “Just flush it already,” Jo said and screamed as she disappeared into the Flush of Shame. “I will not miss her. Not how I wanted to celebrate the 100th episode of Total Drama, but at least no one got hurt. Well, not me, and that’s what’s important here on Total … Drama … All-Stars!” Chris said. Exclusive clip Jo grunted as she landed at the bottom of an Egyptian pyramid. She rubbed her arm. “Great. What now? Scarabs? Whoop-dee-do,” she said. “Do your worst, you pathetic roach wannabes.” She screamed as the scarabs began to swarm. “I take it back. Do your best.” She screamed. Category:A to Z Category:Total Drama All-Stars (Rewrite) transcripts